In the cold morning,
I step into the shower,
worshipping the warm water
as it trickles down my skin.
I raise my hand to its source
and close my eyes,
feeling heat flow
in lines, healing
the frigid feeling,
exorcising it from my limbs.
My blood pumps with life
renewed, as I wake up
and truly open my eyes.
When I am clean,
I turn off the water,
wrap myself in a towel.
Though the cold air
presses on me,
I am not chilled
like I was before.
All of them have their quirks and problems,
though all they see are the others, not
their own. I am different than them.
I can see the numbers for what they
refuse to, and I can see myself
as I know I am. 1 is always
unconfident, which he tries to keep
hidden by pretending to be the
know-it-all everyone thinks he is.
2 can never keep her thoughts straight and
can not pay attention long enough
to get higher than a low B and
worries too much about her feelings.
3 is just there, such a small part in
everyone else’s world, and even
though he tries so hard, he will never
find places like other numbers have.
4 is so caught up in what all the
other numbers think of her that she
does not even know what she thinks of
herself. 5 tries to cover what she
thinks is weakness by acting tougher
than she needs to. 6 never steps out
of line and never takes chances and
is somehow pushed to the front and praised
like he is our leader or something.
7 takes on too much and burns out
too quickly and always wonders why.
8 shirks responsibility as
often as he can because he thinks
that no one cares even though they do.
9 can not keep her head out of
the clouds long enough to focus on
what is real and in front of her.
Me? What is my problem? Noticing
others’ faults is one of them of
so many. But one stands raised
above all the rest – I
am not important.
I don’t matter.
That is just
how it
is.
7 hurried down the hall
to the volleyball practice she
knew was starting now without her
because she had to stay after
class in physics to ask for
help on her extra credit work.
The extra points were needless
to her grade, but she wanted to
excell. Everything could be
hers if she tried hard enough – class
valedictorian, team
captain of the volleyball squad,
first trumpet in the high school
band, solo in the new choir
number – she could do it all.
She ran passed the computer room
on her way to the gym and
peeked inside, knowing exactly
who she would see inside. 8
was lounging there as usual,
watching soccer games as he
would stuff his face with those greasy
chips he somehow enjoyed while
cheering for plays that he could be
making himself at practice,
which 7 knew started about
an hour ago. She didn’t
know how he could do that to his
team and his coach and himself.
7 shook her head, speeding her
steps toward her commitment.
Even if she was tired and sore,
she said she would and she kept
her word, even if people like
8 decided to lay back
and take it easy, she wouldn’t.
Those words were her motto when
she was hurting and wanting to
give up, that idea gave her
the drive to push forward as
she always did, just like she
was then, running to her next task.
3 never
paid much attention
to 5 when
they were together
hanging out
with friends or in class.
To him, she
was quiet and tough and
never let
you look at her for
long before
she’d glare back at you.
He thought she
liked to be alone,
away from
other numbers like
0 was.
Except 5 wasn’t
cold – more like
intimidating.
The first time
3 really noticed
5 was one lunch they
ate outside.
after the others left,
she stayed there
to feed a pair of
squirrels when
she thought no one was
there to see.
The next class they had
with each other,
he looked at her in
a new light,
and of course she just
glared at
him like she always
did, but this
time he smiled back.
2
knows that
1
is out
of
his class
for
today,
so
she hunts
him
down through
the
hallways
of
their high
school,
running
up
and down
the
staircases
and
under
tables
(just
for fun –
‘cause
why not?)
and
outside
the
calc club’s
room,
and
every-
where
until
she
caught sight
of
him at
his
locker.
She
ran and
jumped
at him
and
wrapped
him
up in
a
big hug
like
she knew
he
would say
he
didn’t
like
but he
lied.
1 sighed
but
could not
help
the small
grin
that formed
on
his face
as
he looked
at
her smile.
1
rolled his
eyes
at her
as
he shrugged
his
shoulders
and
she fell
to
her feet,
not
giving
him
a chance
to
regain
his
balance,
grabbed
his hand
and
pulled him
to
the door
and
sunlight
where
good things
ever
happened
to
people
like
her and
great,
teddy
bear
boys like
2
if he
just
believed
in himself.
Erika Rowlee 